Dudley's dungeon

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Tuesday, 27 October, 2009 by Slandor
Quaff what? S - a   
blessed smoky potionPOTABLE, n.  Suitable for drinking.  Water is said to be
potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage,
although even they find it palatable only when suffering
from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it
is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent
ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all
countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the
invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this
general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the
preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific --
and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
        [ The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
called fruit juice. ...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..| .>.|..|.}| |}.|..|..| ------|.}-- --}.|..|..| ......|.}}---}}X-..|..| ......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..| ......|.w.A.....|..|..|
It turns out to be  
empty.              
|--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-|
...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..|
.>.|..|.}|   |}.|..|..|
------|.}-- --}.|..|..|
......|.}}---}}X-..|..|
......|w}}}}}}}.|..|..|
......|.A.......|..|..|
X "Oh well."
Archley hits the purple
worm[The crysknife] is manufactured in two forms from teeth taken
from dead sandworms. The two forms are "fixed" and "unfixed".
An unfixed knife requires proximity to a human body's
electrical field to prevent disintegration. Fixed knives
are treated for storage. All are about 20 centimeters long.
        [ Dune, by Frank Herbert ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
. |--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-| ...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..| .>.|..|.}| |}.|..|..| ------|.}-- --}.|..|..| ......|.}}---}}X-..|..| ......|w}}}}}}}.|..|..| ......|.A.......|..|..|
X "Go get 'em, Archley!"
Eat what? V - a blessed
ring ofThree Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
        [ The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
increase damage. Magic spreads through your body! ------|.}-- --}.|..|..| ......|.}}---}}X-..|..| ......|A}}}}}}}.|..|..| ......|.........|..|..|
X "I probably have enough of these anyway."
You hear some noises.
You're finally      
finished.           
...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..|
.>.|..|.}|   |}.|..|..|
------|.}-- --}.|..|..|
......|.}}---}}X-..|..|
......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..|
......|.........|..|..|
X "Tasty, tasty rings."
Burrrrp!            
...-..|.}}}}}}}.|.....|
|--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-|
...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..|
.>.|..|.}|   |}.|..|..|
------|.}-- --}.|..|..|
......|.}}---}}X-..|..|
......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..|
......|.........|..|..|
X "My sentiments exactly."
...|..|.........|.....|
...-..|.}}}}}}}.|.....|
|--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-|
...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..|
.>.|..|.}|   |}.|..|..|
------|.}-- --}.|..|..|
......|.}}---}}X-..|..|
......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..|
......|.........|..|..|
...|..|.........|.....|
...-..|.}}}}}}}.|.....|
|--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-|
...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..|
.>.|..|.}|   |}.|..|..|
------|.}-- --}.|..|..|
......|.}}---}}X-..|..|
......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..|
......|.........|..|..|
X "Aw, man..."
You kill the purple 
worm[The crysknife] is manufactured in two forms from teeth taken
from dead sandworms. The two forms are "fixed" and "unfixed".
An unfixed knife requires proximity to a human body's
electrical field to prevent disintegration. Fixed knives
are treated for storage. All are about 20 centimeters long.
        [ Dune, by Frank Herbert ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
! |--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-| ...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..| .>.|..|.}| |}.|..|..| ------|%}-- --}.|..|..| ......|X}}---}}.-..|..| ......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..| ......|.........|..|..|
X "No big deal, with all these artifacts and bonuses I don't need a pet to ascend."
You return to humanThese strange creatures live mostly on the surface of the
earth, gathering together in societies of various forms, but
occasionally a stray will descend into the depths and commit
mayhem among the dungeon residents who, naturally, often
resent the intrusion of such beasts. They are capable of
using weapons and magic, and it is even rumored that the
Wizard of Yendor is a member of this species.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
form. Zap what? v |--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-| ...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..| .>.|..|.}| |}.|..|..| ------|%}-- --}.|..|..| ......|@}}---}}.-..|..| ......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..| ......|.........|..|..|
@ "Let's just check..."
You feel self-      
knowledgeable. You are
fire resistant. You are
cold resistant. You are
shock resistant. You
have polymorph control.
You have a huge bonus
to damage. You are very
lucky.              
Your medallion crumbles
to dust!            
|--|..|.}}---}}.|---|-|
...|..|.}-- --}.|..|..|
.>.|..|.}|   |}.|..|..|
------|%}-- --}.|..|..|
......|@}}---}}.-..|..|
......|.}}}}}}}.|..|..|
......|.........|..|..|


http://sadowl.com/dudley/
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@sadowl.com!
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Rating

00037
Average rating: Excellent
Number of ratings: 10

Comments

NobodySpecial October 27, 2009 03:59
First comment: 11 September, 2009 7 comments written
A uniquely meta-humorous shaggy-dogA domestic animal, the _tame dog_ (_Canis familiaris_), of
which numerous breeds exist. The male is called a dog,
while the female is called a bitch. Because of its known
loyalty to man and gentleness with children, it is the
world's most popular domestic animal. It can easily be
trained to perform various tasks.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
story, with a sufficiently NetHackish flavor. I approve!
Mantar October 27, 2009 09:11
First comment: 28 January, 2009 36 comments written
Ha! Excellent.
Slowpoke October 27, 2009 10:28
First comment: 13 January, 2009 85 comments written
I was hoping for a punchline, nevertheless.
@ October 27, 2009 11:24
First comment: 28 January, 2009 53 comments written
So...

This is a comic, which must have a punchline.
The punchline dictates that there is no punchline.
Which is a punchline.
But since the punchline dictates that there is no punchline, there cannot be a punchline to prevent a punchline.
But since this is a comic, there must be a punchline after all.
But the punchline dictates that there is no punchline...

Therefore, it can be categorically proven that the Quantum Physisict over there has Shroedinger's box. Go on, talk to him. Maybe you'll even turn into an antThis giant variety of the ordinary ant will fight just as
fiercely as its small, distant cousin. Various varieties
exist, and they are known and feared for their relentless
persecution of their victims.

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
.

E, btw.
@ October 27, 2009 11:25
First comment: 28 January, 2009 53 comments written
frak I misspelled Physicist
Slandor October 27, 2009 15:07
First comment: 6 April, 2009 111 comments written
@@: Ha! That's remarkably similar to the paradox of rickrolling, which I just discovered over at my blog:
http://mattweiner.net/blog/archives/000860.html

(That link isn't a rickroll, though it really should be.)
Wellan October 27, 2009 19:23
First comment: 14 January, 2009 31 comments written
Great setup on this one! Now I want an amulet"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
versus punchlines...
Slowpoke October 27, 2009 20:51
First comment: 13 January, 2009 85 comments written
@: I still want a punchline.

And I would trade four rick rolls to get one: http://tinyurl.com/68ooe4

This, by contrast, is not a rick roll: http://tinyurl.com/c65bvs
Antheridium October 27, 2009 21:18
First comment: 12 January, 2009 131 comments written
Amulet"The complete Amulet can keep off all the things that make
people unhappy -- jealousy, bad temper, pride, disagreeableness,
greediness, selfishness, laziness. Evil spirits, people called
them when the Amulet was made. Don't you think it would be nice
to have it?"
"Very," said the children, quite without enthusiasm.
"And it can give you strength and courage."
"That's better," said Cyril.
"And virtue."
"I suppose it's nice to have that," said Jane, but not with much
interest.
"And it can give you your heart's desire."
"Now you're talking," said Robert.
        [ The Story of the Amulet, by Edith Nesbit ]

Copyright (c) 1994, 1995, 1996 by the NetHack Development Team
Copyright (c) 1994 by Boudewijn Wayers
NetHack may be freely redistributed. See license for details.
versus punchlines... XD
@ October 27, 2009 22:24
First comment: 28 January, 2009 53 comments written
Slowpoke: There are 2 kinds of people in the world.

1. Those who need closure, and
Slowpoke October 28, 2009 13:32
First comment: 13 January, 2009 85 comments written
@: See, that's a punchline. Maybe you can work it into a comic.

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Which character represents an altar, or an iron chain?

http://sadowl.com/dudley/
Want to contribute? Write an email to dudley@sadowl.com!
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